oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
