as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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