Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
