Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
