found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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