I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
