My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
