doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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