but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
