what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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