I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My pussy is not your playground.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
