she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize