maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
