You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
