His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
