do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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