no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
