I accidentally had phone sex last night
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Houston, we have a squirter
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
