sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
