DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
