just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
