It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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