Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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