Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
