forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Also, beer. Big fan.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
