Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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