At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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