Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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