I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
