Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
