I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize