You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
