I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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