He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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