I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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