I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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