she was so not down for the gang bang
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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