you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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