Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
