Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
