I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
