It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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