I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
