It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
