I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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