you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
