He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
