just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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