She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
