There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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