he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
time to smoke my breakfast
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
