would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
