Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Vodka?
Forever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
