Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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