i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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