did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize