note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
