you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
